It's Been a Long Year

It's  the first of March and the first couple of months for 2018, have been a long year!
On New Years Eve, Jim Simms passed away. He is a bit younger than Alex and his death was a big surprise. Annie and Alex and the kids were on vacation and tried to get back to Durham as quick as possible, then Alex came to Dallas for the memorial service. We went too, which meant mom had to go to the Bandera nursing home for respite care. When we got back, she was in bad shape (like normally happens with respite care... she stayed in the bed for the entire 5 days.) and she had an upper respiratory infection. So for the entire month of January she was bed ridden. We did what we could here at home until  the end of the month, and then we realized that we couldn't keep trying to take care of her in the bed. (I have known for quite awhile that situation would be very difficult.) On January 26, we moved her back to the nursing home. In the next four weeks, she stayed bed ridden, refusing to sit up, many times refusing to eat or drink, and having severe progress on dementia.  She got weaker and weaker... eating less... and not drinking very much water either. On February 18th, Sam and Audrey went to see her and they could tell that she probably wouldn't last much longer. She was telling them good bye. Mike and Carrie and the boys decided to come on Feb.23 and go see her on Saturday, the 24th. At that point she couldn't talk or open her eyes... not really responding to anything. (and her breathing was pretty bad.) On Sunday morning, the 25th, the nursing home called me and said that her vital signs were getting pretty rough, and I should come there right away. I stayed at church long enough to get everything situated for primary. I got to the nursing home about 12:15. Dan Harkness was coming into town right behind me. (He was originally planning to come on either the 22nd or 23rd, but they had a bad ice storm in Abilene, so he had postponed until the 26. When I saw how bad she was on Saturday, I called him and said he better come on Sunday.) As it turned out he was the one sitting there at the nursing home with me when she stopped breathing. (Ron was still in Boerne on a high council assignment and Audrey and the boys came back out, but just went to the house.) She seemed to pass away peacefully... not in any pain... just stopped breathing. The hospice nurse was there when I arrived, then he had to go to Boerne to see another patient, then he came back mid afternoon. She was pronounced dead at 2:15. We waited for someone from Grimes Funeral Home to come, then we packed up her personal items. Dan headed back to Abilene and Ron and I went home to have dinner with Audrey and the boys. It was great to have Mike and Carrie and then Sam and Audrey visit her on Saturday afternoon. Especially Mike and Carrie's visit. They talked to her, Mike sang to her and read scriptures. It was perfect. I am not a "talker"... I should have told her a few more things, but pretty much, the only thing I could say on Sunday was, "I am here and Dan is right behind me. There are lots of people waiting for you on the other side." I am glad that Dan was there, she really loved him and I assume it meant alot to her, to have him there. (Even though she was not responding to anything, we have to assume that she could hear us and knew that we were there.) The past week has been crazy with making arrangements for the cremation and memorial services. Some of mom's close friends have, or will be a great help. Memorial service planned at Saint Christopher's Episcopal church, on March 12 at 1 pm. Father Alan is doing most of the planning and work for that. Then there will be another service in Denver, on May 5 and interment at the Arvada cemetery. (Lots of details to still plan for that.) In many ways... taking care of everything has been easier than what most people have to do. I already knew mom's wishes and she has very little property or other items to take care of. Also she has two life insurance policies that should cover all of the costs. Sad thing that Doug and Gary did not get here to see her. I thought that was going happen about the 7th of February... but nope. We have had great support from our friends at church. (It will be interesting to see the Episcopal church full of Mormons ;) All of our kids are planning to meet in Denver... in May. And of course Doug and Gary, mom's Denver friends, and Berthoud family and friends.